So, a lot of you don't know me. I think it's funny to think about what some of you might think, if you've never met me. I've had some people calling me, asking me really weird questions. I think they think I'm wearing a monks robe, sitting cross-legged, humming. I've gotten the idea that some people think I'm either a crazy dude, eating bugs out of my beard, mumbling star trek lines, or I'm a wise saint, living out my days in a circle, content to do nothing but read the Bible and pray. Unfortunately, neither of those is remotely true.
Truth is, I'm switching between unbelievable times of worship and agonizing times of frustration. I have ADHD and learning disabilities that make being confined excruciating. Plus, as much as I love Jesus and His Word, it is very difficult for me to read for long periods of time What I just started sharing with people is that I couldn't read until just before my 9th birthday. That doesn't mean I'm stupid, it's just that my brain works a little...different. I am on pace to read through the Bible in a month. That's been awesome...and awful. It is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Reading through Leviticus and Numbers for hours nearly killed me :) What it has done for my relationship with Jesus has been unbelievable. I want to continue reading through the Bible monthly when I get out. It's actually only 35 pages a day in my Bible.
I guess I am trying to make a point, so I'll get to it. I have realized over the past couple of days that this whole "dude in a circle" business has gotten out into the community. I had 1500 page views on the blog in one day! People are curious, intrigued, and honestly pretty confused. And I'm getting some pretty hilarious questions. Is that dude crazy, a saint, or pulling a publicity stunt?
I'm a normal dude who spent several years counting on my personality and gifts to make me successful. I prayed, but I worked harder. I knew God wanted to pour out His blessing, but I never really thought I deserved it. I've always seen myself as the weird guy with learning issues. So I started counting on the things I was good at to get me through. That got me nowhere. I asked God what to do to turn it all over to Him. He told me to draw a circle, sit in a circle, read my Bible, pray, and let Him handle His business. That's why I'm here. I think it's crazy, but it worked.
2.5 weeks ago, when Relevant Truth Church drew a circle, we owed $5000 in bills, and had around $20 in the bank. We had absolutely no way to get that money. I wanted to be out trying to figure it out. But I couldn't...I was in a circle :) We started praying. Tuesday, we paid all of our bills, and we have money left over at the end of the month for the first time in 18 months! We can actually buy a sign for in front of our building now! Guys, I've tried to raise money since I started doing youth ministry 5 years ago. I've never been successful.
Now we're praying for our brothers and sisters to come worship with us this Sunday.
I'm not a saint. I say things I shouldn't say, and do what I shouldn't do. I'm not the smartest guy, best looking, best speaker, or the most charismatic. My formal education is limited. I disobey God every single day. With this whole circle thing, I think I just got this one right. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I actually managed to obey Jesus. And He is blessing RTC because He wants to. Because He's our daddy, and He can.
If you see me in Wal-Mart on Monday (please dear Jesus), I'll be the guy with the mountain dew, 3 movies that I just rented, a bucket of ice cream, my beautiful wife, and two beautiful daughters (one of which will probably be taking stuff off the shelves.) I won't be any smarter or more attractive. I won't have any more degrees. But I will have more joy than you've ever seen on my face. I have spent so much time without anybody else's opinions. Just me and Jesus. I used to walk around with an overwhelming fear of failure on my shoulders. Not anymore. I already failed, and Jesus just kept being Jesus...and then he made me sit in a circle :)
I finally got out of the way...and I've seen Jesus move!
